I wake up everyday and tell myself to get over you, really I need and want to be happy, you are not worth it.
But at the end of the day I can’t help but dial your number just to hear your voice. And then I’d start tearing up.
I know you’re the asshole, I know you’re the motherfucker who abandoned me when I stood by you for so long taking in your shit just because I told myself that this was love, it was not all to be rosy and apple cheeked, but to work out the knots.
Every time you promised something or said “I love you more” to me, I find myself doubtful but again, only time will tell.
I hate myself for doing this to myself and I hate myself in the worst possible way for wanting someone that doesn’t want me, for making myself out to be so pathetic.
Yet I can’t explain the invisible threads that pull me to do so. I can’t explain my actions, my thoughts and random mood swings sometimes.
I used to think that I knew myself,that I loved myself too much but I guess I was wrong.
Fucked up things can happen.
