Tuesday, May 11, 2010 @ 6:11 AM
The other day
I wrote two separate posts.One highlighting the bad points and the other highlighting the positive points of a person.
You know those sayings about like, " Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." and yada yada.
Well. I'm sorry I don't agree.
I used to think it was true, and maybe one day, under circumstances, it will come true but for now I don't really think it is true.
Take H, the ex bf for instance.
One day when I was going wonkers, me finding a small gift from him calmed me down and made me smile.
Coz it makes me think of the nice things of him, however that doesn't really stop me from remembering the catastrophic ending it had as well.
What I am trying to say is, is it really possible that something that ended so bad, can be something good next time?
I do know that good things can turn bad, if it ended bad that is for sure.
Recently, I've come to realised that living in Singapore ain't exactly a bad thing.
You just need a lot of imagination.
Imagination is something that I used to relish, however I found myself forcibly quelling it as I grew older.
When I was younger, if I do spot a mentally disturbed person, I'd immediately look away or try to avoid him/her.
You could say I was afraid, but I wasn't afraid of them, more of like I was afraid of becoming them.
I had a wild imagination back then, it will be a whole can of worms if I open them now.
I could just spend hours staring at the ceiling away and my form teacher in Pri 2 was visibly very angry at the fact I can just space out in her class and even wrote it in my report book.
Sometimes, while imagining things, my face would contort itself unknowingly either smiling and mouthing words.
That's when I started reigning the imagination in.
I forced myself to not think so much about it, forced myself to stick my head in the now, and told myself what was the bloody use thinking of so many things that may never happen in my lifetime?!
I could have written several stories based on the thoughts I had, however, the fear of my thoughts over riding was there.
And it just stopped.
I won't say it stopped completely, but the stuff I imagine these days would be, more toned down.
Like the other day at the bus interchange, my mp3 player suddenly played Steve Aoki's - Warp, just nice some bus driver was walking across the bus lot.
Guess what scene was playing in my head.
Hahaha, I was aware however my mouth was twining away into a smile.
