Thursday, August 20, 2009 @ 1:40 AM
Zoned out.
=| It has been a rolly polly week for me.I have so many back logged events to blog about too as you can see from my facebook.
Will do them in a bit.
I went to watch this with ZX. Literally burst into tears within minutes of the movie opening. If you've watched it, you'd know why.
That night was pretty pivotal in terms of the grounds we're standing on, in the relationship between us now.
After several talks and smses convo I guess I have to face facts myself.
He repeatedly kept throwing the, " I still love you but I don't have much time for you yet ,I am uni year 2 now ! It is totally different from poly, and I am very stressed, I don't know anything that's being said in lecture etc etc I borrowed 20K from the bank, I don't just want a normal degree I want to do well, yada yada. Wait til I settle my things yada yada yada" at me.
So it was quite clear to me that I was never, and will not be, in the near future, at the top in his priority list. Not even near the top.
His best friend, upon hearing what I relayed to him, only typed out a sentence on his msn, " that idiot."
I don't know, what do you think?
To me, yes, I can understand his stress and everything, it IS important and GOOD that he places his degree that highly, that's what makes people successful isn't it?
But it kind of hurts that I'm not in the picture anywhere along his way to success.
That's where my problem is.
And I'm going to try, to get over him today. I said try. It may not happen, I may still be hung up on him but oh well.
List of things I'm going to do
1. Try and lose weight.
This is going to be really hard, considering the fact that I have whacked sleeping hours and been eating all the time. It's a bad habit, eating , then feeling guilty about it, but what to do.
Reminds me of what my cousin CF said previously when he was in SG.
"See la, tell you not to eat so much, now you've spoilt your body already. Next time in case anything how to go back on the dating scene" he said, not accurately but along the gist of that.
Kinda hurt, but what was worse was that he was right.
2. Save money to buy MY stuff from now on.
3. Concentrate on my day job, don't screw it up, and if I do, make sure I unscrew it, and resign come January.
4.Prepare for school reopening.
Books, pencil box, pens, notes, etc etc.
STILL don't have a school bag. ARGH!
Bought for ZX one for his birthday. I wanted the exact same one in RED D;
5. Clear out my closet, and room stuff.
6. Plan out meticulously for Hommekind.
7. Do well in Urban EM.
8. Research on licenses.
9. Save money for Hommekind.
I wanted to purchase the Diana F+ instant back as well as the holga instant back as well. However, it is so expensive! Pray that UO goes to storewide sale soon.
Sigh. I don't feel so good.
